If you are having difficulty falling asleep and you have been in bed for half an hour, instead of staying in bed and maybe getting agitated, it’s best to get up and get out of bed, leave your bedroom, and do something boring like play solitaire, read the tax codes for your area, rearrange your sock drawer or use a couple of hand mirrors to count the number of freckles on your butt.

When you get up, don’t do anything you enjoy doing, or it will act as a reward for not falling asleep, and don’t get anything to eat or your body will get used to eating at that hour.

When you feel tired, go back to bed. But if you are still awake after another 30 minutes, get up once again.

A bedtime ritual is any relaxing, quiet activity you can do every night that will prepare your body and mind for sleep. And they are not just for babies and toddlers either. Try a few different things and work out a bedtime ritual that works for you.

The first part of your ritual should include stopping all stimulating physical and mental activities at least half an hour before bed. Late night physical activity like working out or sports may require a few hours of wind down time.

When I ran Beaver and Cub programs for twenty-five or so kids, you would figure that a short, easy hike would be relaxing. Try coming back a few kids short. Oy, the problems. And the paperwork! It always took me a couple of hours to wind down after an evening with the kids.

If you often lie in bed wondering if you locked the door, make checking the door every night before going to bed part of your bedtime ritual.

Other bedtime rituals you can try:

• check that the stove is off
• have light snack
• drink a small glass of warm milk
• have a warm bath
• brush your teeth
• wash your face
• play some soothing music
• perform light easy stretching
• turn down your bed
• read a book or magazine
• do a crossword puzzle or Sudoku
• perform some deep breathing
• if you’re a CEO, crush a union and bust up a company for fun and profit

If you worry about what you have to do tomorrow, take five minutes and write down your thoughts as part of your ritual, then let it all go. Once you get a good night’s sleep you can tackle your list in the morning when you’re refreshed.

The two most important parts of your bedtime ritual should include going to bed at the same time every night and setting your alarm to wake up the next morning at the same time.

Doing a bedtime ritual every night will provide cues to your body and mind that bedtime is approaching and once you are used to your ritual, you will normally start to feel tired as you get near your bedtime. You may also find that you will start to wake up just before your alarm clock goes off.

So work out a bedtime ritual that works for you and enjoy a good night’s sleep.

What bedtime rituals do you perform? Write your comments below.

I used to get stressed out that I worried too much. Then I worried about being under too much stress. Then I worried I might pop an internal organ and was stressed that it might happen at a stupid time like on the can rather than at a cool time like while wrestling a big horn sheep.

Experiencing stress throughout the day can lead to muscular tension in your shoulders and neck, headaches, ulcers, and sleep difficulties. Add to that it can take you forever to fall asleep, you’ll toss and turn, and then wake up early. Now you’re stressed because you’re so exhausted and have a busy day ahead at the office or doing necessary evils to chickens.

“Attention Zippy Mart shopper. This life is not a practice. There will be no do over.”

Let’s start with worry. Your loved one is late coming home and they haven’t called so they must have been in an accident and they’re lying in a ditch bleeding. Where does that disaster scenario come from? Probably from your mother who was a whack job and could have done with a few years of psychotherapy. But you can’t change the past or anyone else so work on you and the now.

A lot of the time negative thoughts are the result of bad habitual thinking. You get into a habit of thinking the worse and your brain has been wired to think that way. Like a flowing river, you’re thoughts are following a predetermined path

The same is true of your thought patterns. You have to pay attention to the way you are thinking and the kind of thoughts you have having. So rather than your loved one bleeding in a ditch, think a more positive outlook like they’re safe in a motel room with a much younger lover, sipping champagne and laughing about you. There. Now don’t you feel better? O.k., so they’re hung up in traffic and will be home in a few minutes.

 “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
                                                      Mark Twain

Stress can be a natural response from being attacked by a sabre-toothed tiger, to the flashing red light in your rear view mirror and the trooper walking up along side. Like worry, a lot of stress is the result of stress response habitual thinking. Most events are neutral in nature, it’s your response to them that determines whether they’re stressful or not.

You’re working on an important report that has to be on your manager’s desk in less than an hour, you’re in the middle of some important calculations and the tip of pencil breaks off.  (A pencil, often yellow and made of wood, with a graphite core used to make marks on smashed pressed and bleached wood fibres known as paper).

You could put that pencil aside, grab another one and continue on, or you could stab the broken pencil through the report into your desk and let out a scream of expletives that would make a sailor blush; same event, two very different responses.

To make it easier to get to sleep you can manage and reduce stress in your life through exercise, meditation, yoga, taking a time management course, talking with a mental health professional or your clergy. More drastic, but maybe necessary options include avoiding people that push your buttons (often friends and family) or even changing jobs or careers.

The attitude you have toward yourself and the way you view your sleeping habits greatly influences your ability to get a good night’s sleep. And if you associate your sleep problem with who you are then curing your sleep problem will be even more difficult.

Taking the attitude that “I am an insomniac. I don’t sleep. That’s just who I am.” is not realistic. You are not your problem, you are just a regular person who has difficulty getting or staying asleep and you should be focusing your efforts on finding a solution that will work for you.

Having a poor night’s sleep is often about having a poor attitude coupled with poor sleep habits. If you go to bed expecting a poor night sleep, you will probably get just that. And the harder you try to sleep, the worse it will be.

The two problems of having a self-fulfilling prophecy and performance anxiety can be overcome with the proper mental attitude. Does a baby try to sleep. How about your cat or dog? Or kids in socials class? Sleep is natural and should come easily. You have gotten into a bad habit of sleeping poorly and you have lived with it for many years.

You have to avoid making getting to sleep a do or die situation. It will put too much pressure on you. Don’t set a time limit to fall asleep or watch the clock (turn the clock away).

To improve your attitude toward your sleep should incorporate a bedtime ritual where you should be using some positive self talk.

“I’m going to sleep like a log tonight”

“I’m exhausted. I’m going to sleep all night.”

“I’ll deal with my problems tomorrow, but right now I’m going to get a restful sleep.”

Don’t worry about occasional sleep loss as this is perfectly normal and happens to every one at some point. Stay positive and your sleep pattern will improve.

Make getting a good night’s sleep a priority by noticing the things you say to yourself,  the beliefs that you have and the attitude you have toward getting to sleep.

What are some of your beliefs? Leave a comment below.